Meet Aviva, 214’s resident Jewish roommate. When she’s not zaping lean cuisines in the microwave she is perusing the listings on Jdate. She is always up for a good time and always has a story to share. When she rubs her magic glass ball this is what she sees for her fellow roommates!
So here we are, a few days before graduation, with our whole lives ahead of us. Where will we go? How will we survive? Will there be a Conrads located conveniently next to the bar? Well lucky for you I have predicted where each one of us will be in 10 years (maybe more for those less motivated).
**Note: This is the PG Version of this post…**
“Where in the World is 214”
Ashley - creator and proud owner of “Elmo” a fine lingerie store featuring Elmo inspired apparel. Ashley is also the designer of the “Tickle me Elmo” thong and “Peek-a-boo Elmo briefs for men”
Dana - Host of “America’s Next Redhead,” a talent/ model search for all the underappreciated redheads out there. Dana is also a sexual educator and counselor on the TV Show “Talk Sex with Dana,” the late Sue Johanson (bless her heart) died of old age.
Ryanne - Mother of 8 and married to a nice Jewish man (we will leave the name out for privacy reasons but it rhymes with Hoodman.” During her free time, Ryanne co-coaches with Morgie for a local High School girls soft ball team.
Carol - New York socialite and star of the newest “Real Housewives.” In the tradition of “Real Housewives” authors/ best selling books, Carol has also written a tell-all tale detailing all of her adventures.
Allie - “Blonde Mafia in da hizzzzhouseee,” one of the many openers Allie uses while Djing in the most exclusive suburban bars in the Michigan area. After a brief affair with Sam Ronson, Allie settled down and started selling college football tickets with Jody Tickets (you can catch her scootin’ around campuses everywhere). Allie is also co-creator (with White Bread Fields) of the newest brand of Vegetarian Hamburger Helpers
Jenny Hill - After completing Med School, Jenny was reunited with her long lost lover Randell. They eloped to Puerto Rico, where Jenny now resides as one of the doctors and mother of 3 beautiful curly haired Jewish boys.
Mo - Creator of “Maureen’s ‘Don’t Chew With Your Mouth Open’ Etiquette Guide.” In the guide Mo discusses her disgust with open mouth chewers, gum chompers, among many other unclassy topics. Mo has also helped designed a website where you can order food to be delivered straight to your bed, when you are too hungover to move.
Jenny Hendrix - With her love for goldfishes and household pets, Jenny has created the “Forever Fish,” a fish that wont die no matter what happens to it. This fish is ideal for people who may drunkenly eat them and/or throw hazardous things (i.e. M&Ms) into the their tanks.
Triccs - A.K.A The new Lil Kim, Triccs has sold over 100 million cds, featuring such songs as “Imma F*** you up B*****” and “”What the F*** you Staring at Ho.” After a brief trip to jail for “F***in up some b****” Triccs has finally moved in with her baby boo, Weezy.
Kelsey - The infamous candy addict, Kelsey has a new set of teeth due to too many cavities in her old ones. She has also developed her own sugar-free candy line so other addicts don’t suffer the same fate.
Lizzy - 214 Blogger Extraordinaire… Oh yeah this blog isn’t going anywhere. Lizzy will continue to blog about her 214 favorites as they make bad decisions, get married, have children and hopefully grow up. Besides becoming the next Perez, Lizzy is married to a NFL player (again I will keep the name private, but he makes her VERY happy.
Jenny Korn - A lover of all cats and anything that purrs, Korn has opened the “Beebers Nursery”. Speaking of little beebers, Korn has also adopted 12 cats of her own who are coincidentally all named Beebers 1-12. Lastly, Korn has started an anonymous hotline, where hungover individuals are able to call and listen to music as they puke up the remnants from the night before.
Alicia - Once she realized the gypsy clan wasn’t the lifestyle she was hoping for, Alicia moved to South Africa where she became one of their prime drug dealers. With all the money Alicia was making she flew Sandy to South Africa (since we know how much Sandy loves her little gypsy lady) and the two of them currently reside with the locals in a small village by the river. She also opened a 24/7 McDonalds, which ONLY sells breakfast food.
Aviva - After realizing pimpin was a hard business, Aviva finally married a tall, dark, muscular, and handsome Israeli solider (which made Naomi a VERY happy lady). Aviva, Aviva looking back on her past, decided to share and help those other “open minded girls” and became a mentor.
I LOVE YOU ALL so much!! Good luck and let me know how accurate my predictions are!
XO Aviva,


